shinji

2011-11-13T20:59:00.001+08:00

Te wo nobashi oikaketa
手を伸ばし追いかけた
Chasing and stretching the hand
Tsukame sou na shinkirou
掴めそうな蜃気楼
The mirage I grasp
Fureta yubisaki ga mune ni tsutaeru yo
触れた指先が胸に伝えるよ
The touched fingertip is transmitted to the heart
Itsuka mita yume wo koko ni
いつか見た夢をここに
One day the dream I saw is here

Kata ni noseta yuuyake no iro ga nabi ite
肩に乗せた夕焼けの色がなびいて
Placing on the shoulder, the fluttering color of sunset
Sore ga hajimari wo tsugeru toki
それが始まりを告げる時
That is the time I start telling

Otosanai yo oretachi no ikiru akashi wa
落とさないよ俺たちの生きる証は
Don’t lose it, the proof of our existence
Donna iro yori mo tsuyoku kedakaku
どんな色よりも強く気高く
More than whatever color, it’s sublime strongly

Aa
ああ
Aah
Ikutsu no yoru wo koete meguriaetanda
いくつの夜を超えて巡り合えたんだ
Our chance meeting exceeding how many nights
Ano hi no sora ni
あの日の空に
In that day’s sky

Te wo nobashi oikaketa
手を伸ばし追いかけた
Chasing and stretching the hand
Tsukame sou na shinkirou
掴めそうな蜃気楼
The mirage I grasp
Fureta yubisaki ga mune ni oshieru yo
触れた指先が胸に教えるよ
The touched fingertip is teaching the heart
Itsuka mita yume no
いつか見た夢の
One day the dream I saw
Tsuzuki kara hajime you
続きから始めよう
Starting from the continuation
Tada soko ni tachitsuku shite
ただそこに立ち尽くして
I just stand still there
Naita oretachi no kaeru basho wa mou
泣いた俺たちの帰る場所はもう
The place we who cried to return to is already
Tatta hitotsu shikanaku te
たったひとつしかなくて
It’s only one there

Yarikata nara ikura demo omoi tsukukedo
やり方ならいくらでも思いつくけど
If it’s a way to do, I’ve thought about it many times
Kore ga ore no yarikata to kimeta
これが俺のやり方と決めた
This is it, I’ve decided my way of doing

Hamukau nara sore nari no kakugo wo kimete
歯向かうならそれなりの覚悟を決めて
If it’s striking back, deciding my resolution as it is
Oide ima koko de kotae miseru yo
おいで今ここで答えみせるよ
Come here, right now I’ll show you the answer here

Aa
ああ
Aah
Karada ga oboete iru koko ni tatsu koto wo
からだが覚えているここに立つことを
My body remembered about standing here
Ano hi no mama ni
あの日のままに
In that day

Maiagaru toki no suna
舞い上がる時の砂
The flying sand of time
Kiete ukabu shinkirou
消えて浮かぶ蜃気楼
The mirage that floated and disappeared
Tojita me no oku ni kin iro no hashi to
閉じた目の奥に金色の橋と
Inside the closed eyes, the golden bridge
Ano hi no yuuyake
あの日の夕焼け
That day’s sunset
Kataku chikatta kotoba wo
かたく誓った言葉を
My words of vow
Nando mo omoi kaeshite
何度も思い返して
No matter how many times I re-think
Naita oretachi no kaeru basho wa mou
泣いた俺たちの帰る場所はもう
The place we who cried to return to is already
Tatta hitotsu shikanaku te
たったひとつしかなくて
It’s only one there

Te wo nobashi oikaketa
手を伸ばし追いかけた
Chasing and stretching the hand
Tsukame sou na shinkirou
掴めそうな蜃気楼
The mirage I grasp
Fureta yubisaki ga mune ni oshieru yo
触れた指先が胸に教えるよ
The touched fingertip is teaching the heart
Ano hi mita yume wo
あの日見た夢を
The dream I saw that day
Tsuzuku monogatari wo
続く物語を
The continued story
Tsuzuttekureru anata wo
綴ってくれるあなたを
You who are bound
Naita oretachi no kaeru basho wa sou
泣いた俺たちの帰る場所はそう
The place we who cried to return to is yes
Tatta hitotsu shikanaku te
たったひとつしかなくて
It’s only one there

<3 homg homg Yukimura Seichii song [ Yume no tsuzuki II] is nicee <3

2011-11-03T22:42:00.000+08:00

ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi yo kesenai kako mo seoi atte ikou ikiru koto wo nage dasanai de
tsunaida kimi no te wo
itsuka ushinatte shimau no kana usurete iku egao to kimi wo mamoritai kara hibiku boku wo yobu koe sae kare toki ni sou kaze ni kaki kesaretatte kimi wo mitsuke dasu
ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru toki ga kuru daro
sabikitta hito no you ni
kasanari au dake ga munashikute hitori de ikite ikerutte itta arifureta yasashisa kotobajya ima wa mou todokanai hodo ni kimi wa uzukidasu
tsunai da kimi no te wa nanigenai yasashisa wo motome Do you remember itami wo shiru koto de hito ni yasashiku nareru kara Drive your Life
ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru toki ga kuru daro
How can I see the meaning of life kieteku you're the only. . .
kowarenai you ni to hanarete iku kimi mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de ima wa by and by mie nakuttatte subete ni imi ga aru kara kesenai kako mo seoi attekou ikiru koto wo nagedasanai de
You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . your different Life? You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . modoranai kedo
hizunda kioku no you na toki no naka de itsuka wakari aeru kara

2011-11-01T22:43:00.002+08:00

one cant clap alone

it needs another one to clap with it..

but if the other refuses to work for it....

then there is not way can applause be heard...laughter be shared..

2011-11-01T13:25:00.001+08:00

hmmm back in school...

fyp starts
and life just ends

lol sucks...i hope i can pull through and do some good work finally

2011-09-11T21:10:00.002+08:00

1 month is over~~
2 moreeee..

puhh... super sian
seriously stop assuming only your life suck ..
everyone have their up and downs in their life
no one's life is going to be perfect.

the only thing you can do is SUCK IT UP LIKE A MAN AND DEAL WITH IT
AS MUCH AS IT SUCKS [the advice] IT WORKS

life is not going to be nice
things dont always go your way

deal with it bitch

2011-08-21T14:46:00.001+08:00

siol..have been sooo long since i posted anything..

ahahha

currently doing sip at this "animation" company near joo chiat~
its fun [so far]
the people there are nice..
but all man..
lol
so sad..i only woman/girl there
hahahahaha

i miss the irritating noisy ppl in my class..
lol..
10 more weeks~

2011-07-12T22:38:00.002+08:00

haha im putting this in my blog..sheezh

the LIST:
1] MONEY <3 seriously THIS IS NOT IN SINCERE ,...rather its the most sincere thing you can ever gimme CAUSE I CAN BUY WHAT I WANT WITH THE COLLECTED MONEY how about that!?!!
*REALLY NEEDS IT <3

2] HARD DISK [500 gb is loved!~ <3 share with many ppl..so its cheaper] * REALLY NEEDS IT

3] 16gb thumbdrive is fine too~ [ 2 is good :P] *is GREATLY LOVED TOo

4] sims 3 NIGHT LIFE [but my sister getting for me so its okay~ ]

5] ANG BAOS [haha this is no.1]

6] blue ice cream? [ a tub please HAHAHAH or a cup is okay! ^^]

7] hugs and kisses is okay~ HAHAH

BTW this is NOT A DEMAND LIST..
its for FYI

so its okay if no ones wanna get anything im really fine :3
just gimme a wish and i'll be happy~~ hahaha

2011-07-02T22:26:00.001+08:00

HOMG HOMG..chiong finish colonello's costume/gun in a week..
not badsss...
XD

many thanks to the ppl who helpedd <3<3..

now to the next costume...HUUUUYAAAAA~
fuck...p3

2011-06-22T00:13:00.001+08:00

chionging COLONELLO COSTUME NAOOSSS

omg omg i hope can finish

zzz..TIREDDD

2011-06-14T00:44:00.001+08:00

whatever i said applies to myself

and the friends i made..

trust me..if i wanna say anything i would say it in your face

2011-06-13T23:49:00.003+08:00

friendship can last if you want it to..
if you destroy it
break it
wreak it..
took it for granted..there is no way in hell will it ever last..

making promises to make it last..means making the efforts to MAKE SURE it does.
so like i always say..
i wish or i'll make sure it last..
so ima do my part to make it last..

sure if i did wrongs..i would make amends to make it right..i would try..

but if you wanna give crap and shit, wreak it and not move a muscle..not use a single effort to make it last..and then still expect other people to change for you..

dont bother complaining..whining
because why it ended would prolly be you not giving any effort in the first place.

and seriously..stop acting like you're the victim..because it just going to make me start hating you..and frankly..its growing pretty fast.

2011-06-12T00:46:00.002+08:00

stumbled upon a very true post..at least it felt true..to me..

" They Say..
if you fell in love with 2 people at once,
choose the 2nd one,
because that would mean that you didnt really loved the first one that much in the first place.."

ironic..
sad..
hurtful maybe..
but definitely true.

sigh..nowadays many things run through my head.

"Jakkuman yet saenggagi tteooreumyeon amado
Nado mollae geudael chajagaljido molla"

hilarious ..
i dont even know what to say anymore..

IM LOST ..

2011-06-05T17:23:00.002+08:00

stayed out a night with my dear classmates at boat quay..lol first time going with them..
it was kinda hot ard there..sadly no wind~

had small talks here and there
lol pretty interesting~~

oh there was a guy playing guitar with his friends..haha though he sang horribly..but his skills at guitar at good..xD
contact gave up on me half way..went blind for a long moment lol..

hmm fell asleep ard 4plus? woke at 5..then we went mac and eat..lol..mygod..tiring
ahaha...esp with me not sleeping properly....

best..reach home 7am..slept until 1 pm woke up..HUAT AR
puhhh..need sleep more..

tiress...zz p3333 why you such a pain in the asssss

2011-06-02T22:45:00.002+08:00

uhhhhgggg...my specs broke..zzz

sickening~ it always break in the same manner..very very weird *pouts

waits for specs..

where my specsssss

lol p3 stress arr~~

2011-05-29T14:44:00.002+08:00

lol..crazy night..XD
hehe

had a fun time with my sister : >

dont worry..its not your shadow that i hate..

its the insensitive ppl ard us..
and your frens are crazy..but cute la hahaha..

mr.mystery man you are damn cute..
hope to see you soon : P

2011-05-22T12:04:00.002+08:00

blue wire..

*tick tick

red wire..

*tick tick

*boom..click click boom*

..i wont deny..i am much happier nowadays ..

except from tiny things bothering me..otherwise im fine..

i guess its cause i dont need to worry so much now ..
ha..

i guess the world continues to revolve..
and life must go on..

i can move on ..

*i SEE A SHINY LIGHTTT

2011-05-17T23:33:00.001+08:00

i am sooo stresssed about work and cosplay .lol

OH YEAH~ i bought new charger for my poor mac..hahah
poor lil old charger spoil TnT..
love you many much..thanks for charging all these whhilee~
<3

new charger soo clean and white~!
love it..but it is soo exxxx

2011-05-14T01:56:00.000+08:00

i really really really happy it worked out.. XP

lol well now..

i can really move on..ha
many love to you..
i wish you the best in what you do ..

:3

2011-05-11T23:18:00.004+08:00

i looked up in the skies tonight

i can see the tiny flickering lights..

they seem to smile towards me..

i glanced back emotionless
then the next thing that comes into my mind is..

*points middle finger..
f*uk off..

just let me be in peace

..

mmm i think i should say it to you face to face..
but like its awkward..to the max

but i'll try say it asap..

2011-05-09T00:39:00.001+08:00

i.am.calm..

lol
DAMN TIRED LA

SHEESH

2011-05-08T22:46:00.003+08:00

and now im getting scolded when it wasnt my fault to began with..

right you know what..im the fucking bitch then..

so like WHEN I GET HURT I CANT SAY IM HURT

WHEN IM SAD ..I CANT SHOW IT?

WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO NOW

TELL ME..FUCKING COME TO MY FUCKING FACE AND TELL ME..

DONT HIDE BEHIND A SHIT SCREEN AND SAY SHIT WHEN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE SHIT HAPPEN..

YES MAYBE I BROUGHT YOU DOWN WHEN IT HAPPENED
SHOULD I HAVE NOT?

at that moment
i WAS THERE..I WAS TRYING TO SUPPORT HIM WHEN YOU GAVE HIM SHIT
did i LEAVE HIM TO DIE?
WTF
IF SOMEONE WAS HURTING YOUR BEST FRIEND WOULD YOU NOT TRY AND KICK THAT PERSON AWAY?

ARE YOU EVEN SANE?!

i was being honest

what the fuck are you being

AND SHIT I MADE MYSELF CLEAR OKAY
I AM TRYING ..SO I SHOULD JUST FUCKING PRETEND EVERYTHING WAS A NIGHTMARE IS IT

in the first place

what makes you think that me LOSING MY BEST FRIEND can make me happy

tell me

come..

pray and tell

COULD I NOT PROTECT MYSELF?
WTF
I DID THAT WHY I AM HERE AND THE SITUATION IS WHERE IT IS TODAY

so what i MADE YOU CONFUSED NOW IS IT?

you guys really make me sick of everything

you know

really if i could i would jump off a building just to lose all my memories

2011-04-27T23:46:00.002+08:00

hmm i guess i get what you are saying..

well then i'll leave you be then..

there is nothing i can do..
i assume.

then when you can look me in the face and talk to me..tell me..
im trying my best..

but like if you ever still need someone to talk to..no matter what i am here..its what friends are for..so..

i hope you may have a good night sleep everyday.

2011-04-26T22:32:00.002+08:00

hmm..

i am doing what i think i'll respond to a friend..
what i will talk to a friend..
but if you rather i left you alone

tell me..

right now i dont know if you are angry that we cannot be what we were then

so you are sad or you decided you rather we not be anything

tell me..

because i am trying to give us all a chance and start from the beginning where we start as friends and hopefully [i dont know] see if ever be good friends again.
and its kinda saddening when im trying..you just left me hanging

when im talkin to you..you look away..
i have to assume its the "i do not wanna see your face" expression

i dont know..lol

so tell me..if you want me to go away..
i will

2011-04-24T22:22:00.002+08:00

of all the things..

i never ever regretted once..meeting and being your friend..

i [kinda] blame myself for what happened as well..
if i was stronger and smack your face and just slept with the rest..

maybe things wouldnt have lead to whereever we are at.

so no matter what..

i never will regret making you as my best friend

2011-04-23T23:09:00.002+08:00

many things had happened during this holidays..

seen many things come and go..

heard many things..

felt many feelings..

hmm .. i dont know how to say this..
no matter what...thank you for those feelings..though i cant ever respond to them.
i guess its what you call 有缘无份..
we are fated to meet but our destinies are not intertwine together.

i think like we are usually ahead of one another or behind each other..
like in a chase..

however..having those feeling doesnt give you a right to do whatever you did to me.
its sad that i have to run ahead now..and look back lesser because i still cant look at you without thinking what happened...

its sad that i have to be around you lesser or like lay off the close relationship we had.

its not a small thing..that happened you see.
you broke my trust

i cant trust anything now.

some day ...maybe a long time later..hopefully i'll be able to hold your hand and call you my good friend again

2011-04-05T00:00:00.001+08:00

zz need to prepare for many things coming my way..

sip portfolio..
cosplays
money shortage...

p3..
fyp zzz

my life is soo not awesome noww

2011-03-26T20:25:00.001+08:00

i wishhh life is easssierr

2011-03-06T22:15:00.000+08:00

sigh..2 nice days of resting gone..
puh i want my holidays

2011-03-04T22:18:00.002+08:00

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars..i would really need a wish right now .wish right now..

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars..
i would really need a wish right now..wish right now..wish right now..

the numbers remind me of what we fought over..and it also reminds me not to do it again regardless was it an intentional reason or something misunderstood.

like you said....i am only human ..and i cant possible ever understand what you think..like how you would never know what im thinking..

that's what words are for.

if we leave things as it is..then nothing would be done..no one would understand anyone
everyone would be fighting with each other..

that is why everytime we fight..the first thing i ask myself is..what i did wrong again..
and i spent hours days trying to figure..
and when i really cant get it..then i ask you.

i dont wanna say you are unreasonable..maybe sometimes..
but just because whatever i did may seem small to other people..it doesnt mean it may to you..
everyone have their boundaries i know..

but it just seem like everytime we fight..it starts with a misunderstanding..
..
if we had sorted things out..wouldnt you be more free and happy..wouldnt you not need to be angry or sad as well?

you told me..i always seem to find a way to piss you off..

you really think that way..
you really think i want to piss off my best friend?

i felt really shitty when you said that..
it makes me wonder..because i am one who can affect you..as you said

if staying with me makes you angry and hurt even more than what normal people do..or strangers or classmates..

i dont know what words i can use to express how important you are to me.
it's like..i dont need the whole world by my side..
i just people i can smile with..people i know when i fall..they are there to help me..

but maybe
just maybe..

maybe if you are without me ..

you could fly higher
you dont have to be sad because of me
you dont have to be angry because i did something wrong in your eyes

then i rather just you let go
and fall on my own

2011-03-03T21:43:00.002+08:00

you really rendered me speechless this time.

i dont know to cry (again for the dont know how many times) or laugh really loudly like a crazy person

i mean seriously..you would think that I would yelled at YOU because of YOUR MODEL?
why in the world would i do that?

1. it's your model
2. i have nothing to do except to play games so i do not SEE anything that would irritate me

i mean shouting MAYBE..
why?! because ..
1. half our classmates were screaming and yelling like madmen.
2. the other half was playing music. i was.and you were too and uriah was SINGING? [i think]

so if THERE really EVER was a raise in my voice it was for you to HEAR it

and honestly after i "helped" well..try to you were the one that shouted UH NOTHING HAPPENED WTF?! WHAT DID YOU DO?
and you WERE pretty stressed out then...add your mighty stress lvls to that.
whatcha think you sounded like..

and i didnt even get mad...i was rather scared shitless because nothing happen AND I DONT WANT TO WASTE YA TIME TO REDO ONE MORE.

so
i was just shouting back. UH I DONT KNOW~ its supposed to happen and i DID WHAT I DID TO MY MODEL.
and you were like cursing and all..and you acted as IF i didnt wanna help you and tried to screw up your model..which i didnt and never meant to BECAUSE RIGHT AFTER IT DIDNT WORK I TRIED TO CALL IAN BUT YOU SAID NEVERMIND

so WHY the hell were you soooooooooo angry at me because I YELLED AT YOU?
AND YOU DIDNT LIKE MY ATTITUDE?

what kind of attitude DID I GIVE? i didnt even throw my temper or scold any vulgarities

what kind of yelling is that

i mean HONESTLY..
ME-
when i WANNA yell and SHOW YOU IM ANGRY AND PISSED
i would definitely SHOW.IT.TO.YOU

you WONT MISSED IT

really really why would i get mad BECAUSE MY FRIEND, MY BEST FRIEND, ASKED me for help

please tell me why would anyone get mad at that?

sigh i dont know what to say anymore..

if i didnt even scream in your face when you tried to help me earlier and screwed up my model even worse than what i did to you..

why would i wanna scream or yelled at you because i could not help you or because you asked for my help

i really dont know

LOL if me the PERSON in charge of my body didnt feel like and i KNOW i wasnt yelling [like because i was MAD OR ANGRY]

i dont know why you would ASSUME and THINK that i was and that my attitude was bad

really'

i really dont know what you want me to do this time round

this is the 5th time

2011-02-17T22:44:00.001+08:00

i want you to be happy.

haiz dont bare everything to yourself..im here you know it..

this is for everyone ..

friends family cousins whichever

i love you people a lot really

2011-02-14T22:08:00.002+08:00

i cannot believe this bullshit.

an aunt of mine is using my grandpa who's staying at her hse to get money from other aunts and my mum.
[you know like the children will give money to their parents every month for "jia yong" (family usage) ]

cause my grandpa is staying at that aunt hse. she's claiming that MY GRANDPA WHO CANT WALK ON HIS OWN, [WHEEL CHAIR BOUND] old, weak USES LIKE 100 DOLLARS A MONTH..
WTF?!

my family of 6! SIX PEOPLE 6 FUCKING PEOPLE. ALL ADULTS
our electrical and water bills amounts to about 300-400~

SO HOW THE FUCK CAN AN OLD MAN USE 100 BUCKS A MONTH YOU TELL ME?!

knn HOW CAN ANYONE EXTORT AN OLD MAN LIKE THIS YOU TELL ME?!

he ya fucking father for FUCK SAKE. [well she married to "our" family]
BUT STILL..

OH MY GOD I WANT TO SHOOT HER SERIOUSLY

2011-02-10T21:53:00.001+08:00

wa lau eh!!!1

i cosplay WHAT I LIKE AND WHAT I WANT

CANNOT MEH!!
somemore not like i am attempting the impossible!!!

> c

ish angry now

2011-02-09T22:53:00.000+08:00

thank you for finding me

2011-01-30T22:37:00.002+08:00

im not as strong as i thought i was.
im not as weak as i thought i was.
im not as sad as i thought i was.
im not as happy as i thought i was.
im not as furious as i thought i was.
im not as lonely as i thought i was.
im not as loved as i thought i was.
im not as good as i thought i was.
im not as evil as i thought i was.
im not as warm as i thought i was.
im not as cold as i thought i was.

if im not nothing like what i thought i was.
then..what am i
i think im at the road which leads to many paths..so many im lost.
im not sure what i am looking for.
what i have in my hands
what i have to protect
what is protecting me
what i have to do
what can i do..
what cant i do.

i know nothing..
all these means nothing you see.
i dont know what's on my mind.
if i have one
its just words and feelings come out
which doesnt really make sense

if only my life was simpler like i want it to be.
i dont know what to trouble myself over
i dont know what's troubling me
i dont know whats irritating me
i dont know what's making me happy.

i really..just wanna know what's going on with me
i have a happy life
a nice family
nice cousins
nice friends i would not think twice to help out
an average body not that bad nonetheless
an average not that bad as well
an average loud voice

what am i not happy about.
i.just.dont.understand.anything.anymore

i envy people
people envy me.

times and times again.i dream of myself disappearing.
to a world of darkness, to a world of light
to a world ield filled with soft grasses, nice flowers, wonderful wind

and there i am...just lying there...with a pet or two

some times i think of being a good person..really.
like helping other people...doing the right things..
some times i just wanna kill people.
burn things..do things i never done before

then i stop to think..whats wrong with me
i know how to differentiate whats right and whats wrong
why am i having weird thoughts all the time.

somedays im really happy..
somedays im really irritate
somedays im really sad
somedays..im really..numb

maybe..
just maybe one day.
i can really spread these tainted wings of mine and fly

2011-01-29T22:57:00.002+08:00

haiz..
i need to remember my responsibilities ..
need to remember to do my chores lol

haiz..
growing up is tiring

2011-01-01T02:03:00.001+08:00

had a nice family gathering..[again~]
to CELEBRATE 2011`~
whoots!
...im not that happy though..with the coming of 2011..means 2 days later back to sch..
not shiok man..not shiok..haiz

i wish for more money HEH`~
happiness~ to all my family and friends and to myself
and also handsome guys~ <33 HAHAHA

happy new year people :3

2010-12-21T00:28:00.002+08:00

lol i was looking at gary [teo] old pics..

then i was like thinking back..

we all used to like play all day..
laugh all day
like really act childish but who cares..we are having fun!

now one by one we became more and more solemn..

i dont know if its because we grew up
if its because the responsibilities on our shoulders grew heavier
if its because we realise the world aint as nice as we thought it was
if its because people precious to us suddenly became our enemy or some stranger that you barely even talk to
if its because the humor in us is slowly fading..

i dont know if its a good thing..
to grow up
to stop laughing
to push everyone away so that you learn to stand by yourself
..

i dont know if i can stop myself from changing
i know i am somehow changing..
slowly.
but surely..

i just hope i dont lose my laughter
i mean i know my laughter may not sound the nicest or be the prettiest
..but i know a few idiots..little maybe..but as important as my family to me..
my laughter meant something to them..

that why help me keep it please..
dont let me forget the feeling of when..
even the simplest thing could make burst out laughing..

2010-12-19T20:23:00.001+08:00

im FALLING SICK NOOOO...

TnT

2010-12-15T22:53:00.002+08:00

hmm...
i learnt something today.

thanks to the darkness irritatingNESS
i have become darkness..damn

lol i must really thank my big brother..lol
i SERIOUSly seriously didnt realise

maybe i was being mean..
lol i will try change
but hmm
*koff gimme some time..
esp when it comes to her..

LOL

i dont need say more

2010-12-13T01:20:00.002+08:00

LAST WEEK CHIONG ARR..

zz im kinda disappointed with my lazy self..
never finish my costume..><
sobs..and i was looking forward soo much to it

sorry to the ppl i said i'll show you guys..
hafta wait until next time~

in the meantime..ima try and finish my work and my costume

2010-12-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

there's something wrong with me.

i think.

i wanna sit in a car/bus/bike/bicycle and keep on moving without stopping.
i wanna sleep under the stars but on a blanket.
i wanna feel the wind in my face..

reminding me im still alive..

i need to find my meaning in life..
i need to do the right things..
i need to grasp opportunities when they are presented to me..

so that i will not regret..

i like laughing with my friends..
i like laughing with my families..
i like listening to music

cause they contribute to my fantasies..

i hate it when ppl assume things by themselves and piss me off..
i hate it when ppl misunderstand my words and start fighting with me..
i hate it when its meant for another, other took it as a strike to self and get angry..

i hate it the most when you dont understand me and assumed you do.

i wanna do the right things.

i like ppl to see me as me.

i need start ignoring ppl and start living for myself.

the 4 things i need to do with my life starting now..

2010-11-27T00:13:00.002+08:00

ahem* cough*
its been a long time since i blog [*whisper i know!]

been busy with work.. trying to earn some pocket money for myself
and school..soo far~ visual design mod is somewhat fun..just have to draw~
COMDA is somewhat stressing me out..>P

school is good so far~..

..

its damn sickening..
IF YOU want US THERE, please inform us?!
DO WE LOOK LIKE A PSYCHIC TO YOU?

if you expect us to be there at least call or even a fucking sms is fine?!
dont expect since NO ONE INFORM US, for us to be there
and when we are not, you all call and asked WHY ARE WE NOT THERE?!
WTH LOGIC IS THAT?!

unless you all dont want us there say it..dont need to hide it.

2010-11-01T00:18:00.002+08:00

everyone seems to be rather cranky or on a short fused recently [and that everyone includes me]
sian..lol
no its not PMS
lol weather school work i guess

lol we all needa chill lax..
and i need to sleep..>.>

lol

2010-10-26T00:09:00.002+08:00

hmmm..its been a rather lovely holiday i must say..
:3
i managed to spend time with people i hardly see
namely my bunch of idiots <33
and my poly friends who i see almost everyday

been trying to find a job and its stupid to say that i finally landed on one right at the start of school..amazing..@.@

it would add on the the amazement to tell ya'll i still cant sleep from the day i watch that stupid anime

>.>

it has been 3/4 days?
and the only day which i had sleep for more than 4 hours was when i went to a hotel with kaili/uriah/gary for a drinking session which i ended up falling asleep in..XP
sorry hahaha

zzz
i need my sleep
sUCCKKS I WANNA SLEEP..SCHOOL IS STARTING AND I NEED TO SLEEP..
so let me sleep peacefully tonight~ <33
TnT

sucks to be me now

2010-10-14T00:21:00.003+08:00

LOL
HOLIDAYS IS DE BEST~~

lol im looking for a job nows~
had quite a lot of fun this past 3 weeks?

chalet with poly fren was hilarious and really enjoyable~ <33
spending time with my idiots are awesome too..xD <33

and daddy's back for a while~ <333
woots

lol now is just getting money and getting ready for cosplay.XD

2010-09-28T01:19:00.001+08:00

LOL..OMG I MISS MY CRAZY TIMES WITH MY LOVELY CRAZY IDIOTS..
AHHAHA

today night was totally random to the max!!
we planned a secret birthday parteh for tannie..lOL
so last min..
but many funny shit happen HAHAHA

lol..

im looking forward to spending time with all my friends..
4-6th <33

8th<33

[FUCK LA I 9TH GOT PHOTOSHOOT..]

so busy hahah AND I NEED TO WORKKK

2010-09-19T20:00:00.001+08:00

i wanna get a nice tattoo on my hip bone there or behind near my ass but not on my ass..
if im making sense..

and i want my bf to have the similar one..QAHHWHAHA

2010-09-16T23:02:00.002+08:00

zz..mummy just finish a major operation
nothing serious but she is weak now.

zz that means during the holidays i may not be able to meet my friends and play as much as i want.
i cant work..
zz..

sorry yeah..
if im free then i'll try go find you all play..

zz..im starting to stone more and more..
this is not good..

2010-09-12T00:36:00.001+08:00

zz the time is coming..
SHIT...
IMA DIE SOON

TnT

zz

i have been restless recently..
2-3 months back i guess..
no idea why

lol.
and i have been really tired..
like i want to close my eyes and go to sleep..

and dream..

: l

that would be a very nice rest i guess

2010-09-05T16:21:00.002+08:00

sigh..
i need to stop being the idiot the keep believing things would get better..
humans would change..
someone would care for me
and like me for me..

easier said than done..

i realise im really the hopeless apple
that want to make people happy..
want to try and help people anyway i can
i want to make friends worth a lifetime..
but during the process..i always get hurt..
always get disappointed....

times and times again..i stood up again..
broken bones and scrapped skin

sigh..as much as i want to give up on people.
i dont want too..cause i want to believe and know that there are people out there that will understand me..

i met some..
i passed some..
i lost some..

i hope this crisis would disappear soon..
and i hope everyone will be happy and stop being angry,grumpy,lost..

it doesnt take that much to smile..
its rather you want to make yourself happy..or not

2010-09-03T23:29:00.005+08:00

不公平。。
每次看TV，看漫画。。
那些妹妹每一次做错事情。。都可以跟他们的莫格傻娇。。
然后就会被原谅。。
我呢？

看都不敢看
还傻个屁

有够累。。
因为你的不良解。。
因为你的自以为事。。
因为你的骄傲。。
因为你。。

我每次都遍体鳞伤。。
我每次都哭泣。。

到底我们要吵多久，多少次才能让你明白。。
在我心中。。你不是坏人。。
不是你自己想像的那么残。。
别人可能把你当坏人。。
可。。
你应该知道。。
应该明白。。我的为人。。
我何使说过你的不好。。

你说我是你小妹。。
你说我是你的好友。。

而我当然也把你当成最亲爱的哥哥。。
把你当成我最要好的朋友。。

可是每一次我们都会为了最小。。最没用的理由。。
去伤害对方。。
[每一次都是你自以为事。。］
每一次。。都是我在流泪。。
都是我在受伤。。

你真的那么恨我。。到于不给我机会赎身

我想另一个他说的对吧。。
从头到尾。。
你根本都不许要我们。。
从头到尾。。
都是我们在做梦吧。。

2010-09-02T20:54:00.002+08:00

真的累了。。
心碎了怎样都使不上力　伤透了心

当你难过, 我变得软弱
当我软弱, 泪却不停的流

回到原点又听见你重复说著再见
想安静却分不清, 谁在哭泣的声音
如果没有怀疑, 如果当初手握紧
我们都很清楚, 彼此少了一点勇气
太冲动的我和你, 就不会是今天的结局

不应该靠近, 才不会动心
不应该怀疑, 才不会伤心
不应该任性, 才不会放弃

并不是要你说对不起。。
只是希望可以会到终前。。
可我想。。应该没有可能

2010-09-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

sigh..life should be made easier..

im not happy that you are sad..
im not happy that you are mad..
im sad and tired as you are
but im not as mad as i am as you are

i am not trying to insist on me being right..
its not a matter of right or wrong..
just if you understand..

hopefully you get it soon

2010-09-01T22:31:00.003+08:00

sigh..i have no idea..seriously..what was going through his mind

what we..maybe i was saying was just YOU USUALLY LISTEN TO HEAVY METAL..
HOW DE FUCK IS THAT SEWN TO YOUR IMAGE OR YOU..
its not like im saying you dont listen to other music
its DE SAME AS people sayin you [ME] usually listens to jap songs
so yeah..but i listen to other music genre..THEN

the other HIS case..i dont know what's between you and him..
you go settle yourself.

FOR ME AND YOU
im just saying you usually listen to heavy metal
but i DIDNT say i was surprised that you listen to other music.

im just speaking what i think..
it IS NOT what i think about you or what FITS you..
THE MUSIC YOU USUALLY BLAST in class 90% is heavy metal..
THEN?!

did i say it was wrong that you blast those music?
did i LAUGHED at your choice of music?
did i scorn or ridicule your music?

no i did NOT..
i didnt FIXED you to heavy metal.
its the same as mia saying i always blast OLD SCHOOL songs..
does that mean im an OLD person or whatever you wanna call it.

sigh..
i know what songs you have in that list..i know songs that you like though its not heavy metal.
i know you like stuff that your image doesnt reflect..
i know ..
i fucking know

im not even teasing or saying anything other that..oh you usually listen to heavy metal like 90%
in class.
..its not something that anyone or me is stitching it to you..

so please just calm down and understand what we actually meant..instead of thinking we are against you or something

honestly..after all the fights we ever had [i can safely say we have been through more compared to other friends]...i seriously thought you understand me..or my intentions..or my feelings or anything i do or say..

i guess in the end..i never know whether you do..or you dont

2010-08-28T15:17:00.002+08:00

zz i dislike it whenever i drink...my entire body [usually the face first] turns damn red..LOL..i feel like some lobster..sian~
and my eyes get really tiny..>.>
AND i start having flu or something [like block nose] SUPER SIAN DES~

zz i hate it even more when people scram to me when i sleeping..i feel like punching someone..
GOT SO MUCH SPAM CRAM TO ME FOR FUCK?
you complain hot then dont cram to me la..KANASAI~
piss me off

zzzz im not in a good mood for once

2010-08-23T00:23:00.002+08:00

zz i need money..LOL..
need to work
need to do work
need to sleep
need to eat....
i wanna be like a cool waiteress or something..XD or like some butler..ima be the IMBA one

2010-08-22T00:15:00.001+08:00

OMG..PLEASE GIMME BACK MY HOLIDAY YOU EVIL CHINA MANN!!

zzzz..OH OH i learn how to make a yukata~ like 3 days ago...>.>

AM DAMN PROUD I FINISHED IT IN 2 DAYS..WAHAHAH
..lol am damn tired though..
so tired

2010-08-07T23:26:00.002+08:00

fucked up life of mine..fucking lect..
he is okay when he is NOT teacher..i repeat NOT TEACHING
he rushes like a train and you cant get a shit he says.

well..he is better now..he slows down and give us time to do..BUT STILL FUCKED UP MANSSS..
TnT..i hate doing 3D

today...i was involved in a accident..
was on bus 8 going to school for JCG subcomm interview then going do work..
then as the bus was going pass the round market [ the inter-section before it goes to safra there]
since it was a green light, the bus auntie drove real quick and the opposite lane, there was this stupid motorbike that tried to go but i figured he didnt think the bus would reach so fast..
so bamb!..the motorbike slammed right into the front of the bus and it got crashed underneath it..
i was sitting by the window so i saw everything from start to end..
was friggin scared shitless and shocked..
cause you can feel the bike going under and hear the sounds..
thank god the person managed to escape and was just bruised..
i got so scared though and called mai mum..lol..was crying but after i went to school..felt better..

shit man..i was thinking..if it was a car and the thing hit the middle where all the passengers were..and the car exploded..fuck..i wont be here to type this shit ...
lucky me..

2010-07-30T21:46:00.002+08:00

hmm..i am happy..dont worry..lols..
so dont need to worry im hiding anything..=w=

ANYWAYSSS~

3D ANIMATION SUCK BALLS...
FUCKING CHINA LECT GO BACK YA COUNTRY GROW CROP LA..KNN
YOU THINK WE MACHINE AR?!
DO WE EVEN HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE IN MODELING ALL THE COMPLICATED STUFF?

YOU MOTHER EFFING FISH!
IMA GO MEDIEVAL ON YA ASS

2010-07-20T22:11:00.002+08:00

omg..went to olivia ong concert at TP..FREE...WHEE..i wasnt really a big fan of hers..but her new album not bad~
I LOVE BITTERSWEET~..

>< damn nice..

oh..its friends we'll remain to the end of the day..
platonic doesnt change a thing for me..
but alas it was bittersweet altogether..
my affections hasnt disappear..

[but dont worry..its gone..soon]

=w= i hope people around me are staying happy!
this year really sucked at the beginning..but i think..its a very ..important year..as much as it hurts..as much as i flew and fall..and broke my bones..i learned many things..
and remembered many things i nearly forget..
so the only thing i can do now..is take those broken wings [bones] of mine..stand up..and continue walking..
there wont be light at the end of the tunnel..
you have to dig it out yourself..and...also with the help of your trusted pals

2010-07-10T00:02:00.002+08:00

please be safe..
i'll trade anything for you..

i promise i'll work harder...i'll stop fooling around..
im really praying now..please be safe..
my dear one

i need you..

2010-07-02T00:40:00.003+08:00

omg..i think im starting to fall ill AGAIN..
you know that feeling when you get FLU~ TnT..shit shit..

i must NOT FALL ILL NO NO NO NO..
too much things to do..
too lil time..

*note to self..MUST DRINK MORE WALLLTTEERR~ [water]
and try eat more fruits..and less heaty stuff..TnT

2010-07-01T00:13:00.001+08:00

happy birthday to kelvin~~
haha only me kang koon and zhi neng plus kel's gf went to celebrate today~
think the others all busy.. >w<

we ate uh..some central food thingy at tampines mall opp long john silver!
the food..still not bad..
then we bought some funny drinks to kang hse..hahha omg..
zhi neng face damn red..lmao..
had a lil fun and then came home..alright finish.
OH..me and kang and koon shared this red bag as kelvin bdae present..WOOHOOO

happy birthday BANDIT~

2010-06-27T01:19:00.002+08:00

if i had the chance i would trash out at her...smack her, kill her personally put her heart out and feed the dogs..

but because she is probably the one that can make you smile..
i'll stand by the window and guard..
just to make sure your smile wont fade

but i believe..strongly..when its time..
when you dont need me anymore...
i'll smile and go find my own sky..

2010-06-24T21:35:00.002+08:00

有时候。。我希望我能不顾一切。。
就算会粉身碎骨。。也要趁举自己的幸福。。
就算别人不幸。。不快了。。恨我也罢了。。

可是。。
就因为。。心软。。
就因为。。希望大家一起快乐。。
就因为。。想看到你们的笑容。。

我宁可。。自己不开心。。自己，一个人哭泣。。自己不顾身上的伤。。
也要对你们说。。

我没关系。。
我一个人可以。。
只要你们快乐。。
我就无所谓。。

说这些。。不是要让你们难看。。还是讨同情心。。
只是。。希望。。你不要一直认为我，或别人在你背后捅你一刀。。

有时后。。。我真的很希望。。
我梦里。。那会永远相信我。。不顾一切也要我快乐的人会出现。。
用他／她那。。温软的双手。。紧紧握出我那，因心寒而冷冰的手。。

可是。。可能是我上辈子。。欠了你们。。
这辈子。。就让我还清对你们的人情。。。

真的希望。。下辈子。。可以快乐一点

2010-06-19T22:05:00.002+08:00

i spent the holidays in a very busy manner..
but there were many unexpected..
like say..supposed to go out on wed i didnt...cause it was raining..outing canceled..
then thurs to fri supposed be in a chalet..didnt go..cause my parents decided to go on a really short and unexpected trip..
so i stay at home to look after my lil bro..and watch nanoha Striker S
really miss watching all the old anime...nice~ <33
and friday i went to watch toy story with my cousins..its a NICE MOVIE..god i cried XP
[i think like i became more vulnerable sian]

and sat i helped teacher hui ling with her chalet stuff..
tmr?..go her chalet loh~hahah

i miss my honeys and the crazy time i have with them..
plus my poly mates too..but oh well~ XP

2010-06-18T13:20:00.000+08:00

Who are those little girls in pain
Just trapped in castle of dark side of moon
Twelve of them shining bright in vain
Like flowers that blossom just once in years

They're dancing in the shadow
Like whispers of love
Just dreaming of a place
Where they're free as dove

They've never been allowed
To love in this cursed cage

It's only the fairy tale they believe

They're dancing in the shadow
Like whispers of love
Just dreaming of a place
Where they're free as dove

They've never been allowed
To love in this cursed cage

It's only the fairy tale they believe

2010-06-17T22:47:00.000+08:00

Lost

2010-06-17T00:29:00.003+08:00

OH OH..im going for my rinku chalet from thurs to fri..so i wont see ya all~
bye bye take care..
love love~
dont die ya!~

2010-06-13T22:54:00.001+08:00

ohoh today i went to POP , prince of persia with uriah/gary/miner/xinyi at cine..lols
i think the movie's not bad!
the PRINCESS IS DAMN HOT~ <333
not the prince..ahah i think there is some other actors that fit the character more...dont know..well thats what i think..XP

but homg homg..the princess damn HOTT
SO people who didnt get a chance...can wait for the VCD/DVD or go dl..ahhaha

2010-06-13T20:21:00.002+08:00

i realise the trust we had isnt there..
i didnt change anything.
you were the one that is thinking alot
and god knows why...

sometimes the smallest thing can cause you to explode..
and no one would even realise what went wrong..
whats wrong?
you seem so happy, yet so sad and angry at the same time..
you are the one thats keeping things..
and you always say about what you believe in..
i dont see you doing it..
since its my blog ima just spit everything out...and hope you understand..

im not angry..im just sad and hurt [not that you care right?]
sigh....be happy

the one who shifted away was you..not me

2010-06-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

OHHH MAAIIII GOOODDZZZ

I HAVEE NO LIFE LIKE RIGHT NOT

everyday wake up at 7 am go sch at 9 am go home ard 11.30-12
sleep

CYCLE REPEAT FOR 1 MONTH..WTF ..

i wanan die..and MY GOD..people have no idea how tiring it is to be an animator...THEY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE.
..when i show my mum my animations..she said.." HUH like that only ar?"

...
WTH
WTF
LIKE THAT ONLY..HELLO.
you know your like that only ARRR took me 4 days non stop more than 12 hours in sch TO FINISH
AND YOU GIMME LIKE THAT ONLY?!

fuck..i wanna throw you all intoh animation and let you SUFFAR

2010-06-06T23:45:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wish you would understand the things im going through...
and understand that your words...as harmless as you think...isnt.
i rather get stoned then get hurt repeatedly.

its always the same..
you keep thinking the entire world is against you..
understand this...everyone have their different views and points..values..
though we have different ones..doesnt mean im thinking any less of you..

being your friend for so long..would i KNOW what you're like?
if i dont..then i shouldnt even BE your friend..
have i EVER judge you ONCE?
i can tell you honestly i didnt..cause i dont think everyone is perfect..or that anyone is liable to judge anyone..UNLESS you know them well..
and even if i did..if it was bad i wouldnt even talk to you...

you get more and more uptight every day.
you always brush off our concerns for you..
understand..we are all humans..
and
we are ONLY human...
we are vulnerable ...
to both physical and emotional attacks..
so the next time.at least..think before you act..

and..
can you at least trust us more?

我不知道。。我还能撑多久

2010-06-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

GOD..so many animations too do..
damn tired nowadays..
highly patient too..[surprisingly]
was talking to gary aka ASSHOLE today about impulsion and everything
and i told him..its pretty clear to me i dont have very STRONG emotions
yes happy..yes sad..yes angry..
thats all
i have very simple emotions and the more complicated ones like hatred? impulsion? love?
i dont really understand them..and for some reason they are not very strong feelings in my heart..

i think when god or buddha whatever whoever reading this believe in
forgot to add some things in me..and gave a BIT wee too much logical thinking..to me
which isnt always good...btw

2010-05-30T23:17:00.003+08:00

the walls are crumbling..
the roofs are toppling..
the heavy door that had been shut was force open by the warm spring breeze..
once only lonely footsteps..now no more..
echos that that frighten the lil girl..now replaced by laughter and smiles

but..all these were just illusions..

its the same..
the walls are no longer there just a thick glass wall separating her and the world...
the roofs now opened...so she could the laughter from beyond the glass wall...but never be a part of it..
slowly snow covered the many footprints that walked along side with her..leaving only hers...
the happy laughter and smiles arent there anymore..
only the dead silence with the soft sounds of her crying alone in the snow

2010-05-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

我发现。。你原来。。
从头到尾。。根本没有内疚到。。
让我又恨起你。。

请你不要在让我恨你。。
这样下去。。
我们大家都会累

2010-05-21T20:52:00.003+08:00

everyone has a key that open the door to their heart..
but everyone are able to find that key in their 1 lifetime..
some people get it easily..some people cant find it..
some people thinks that the key in their hand is the one they are looking for..to only realise its the wrong one..and ended up getting hurt..
some people thought the key was the wrong one and missed it though its just by their side..and they never get another chance to grasp it again..
some people know the key is there but they cant have cause of factors/reasons stopping them..
some people have a special bond with this key and make a promise to it to meet it again in the next life..
i wonder where my key is...

2010-05-16T23:59:00.004+08:00

素胚勾勒出青花筆鋒濃轉淡
瓶身描繪的牡丹一如妳初妝
冉冉檀香透過窗心事我了然
宣紙上走筆至此擱一半
釉色渲染仕女圖韻味被私藏
而妳嫣然的一笑如含苞待放
妳的美一縷飄散去到我去不了的地方

天青色等煙雨而我在等妳
炊煙裊裊昇起隔江千萬里
在瓶底書漢隸仿前朝的飄逸
就當我為遇見妳伏筆

天青色等煙雨而我在等妳
月色被打撈起暈開了結局
如傳世的青花瓷自顧自美麗妳眼帶笑意

色白花青的錦鯉躍然於碗底
臨摹宋體落款時卻惦記著妳
妳隱藏在窯燒裡千年的秘密
極細膩猶如繡花針落地
簾外芭蕉惹驟雨門環惹銅綠
而我路過那江南小鎮惹了妳
在潑墨山水畫裡妳從墨色深處被隱去

2010-05-16T15:05:00.002+08:00

很抱歉。。我不能回应你的爱依。。
。。我没你想像中的那么好。。
-.-'''。。不要在对我表达你的爱依。。
因为那让我头疼。。不只要如何让你不在爱我。。

咳。。

2010-05-10T20:30:00.002+08:00

最近我想了很多。。虽然我知道怨不得人。。
但是想要解脱也不是那么容易。。我想要笑着对你说“ 没关系”
可是那不是这么容易的事。。我不知道你心里到底有没有一滴的内疚。。
虽然我着么想可能很坏。。可是我真的希望你能痛苦多一点。。
把我和他和她的痛多少减少一点。。
你们的幸福是建我们的痛苦上。。
哈哈。。。这样说。。
让你们知道。。应该会被讨厌吧。。
我想我可能会下地狱

2010-05-09T11:38:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL MOTHERRRRSSS ..XD
lols...yesterday went to hong neh neh hse..lols..you will see a group of pEOPLES doing work..so sad..
but lol we didnt managed to do much..cause all the kids were shouting and running around..tsk..noisy lil things..xD

food was nice..xD we had chicken seaweed and pizzaaa~ <33
lols...then jun ming have this funny idea of filling balloons withw water then each of us hold one and a pin/knife.. and take picture
lols so we had to pop it..just when the picture is being taken..
so fun~!!
we can try again next time dear cousins..xD this time with a digital cam...so we can actually check the picture..xD..huat huat! and more balloons so we can play water bOMBSZ

XD

2010-05-05T00:19:00.006+08:00

i want to be alone..
i want to be with people..

i want to go out play..
i want to stay at home...

i want to stay pure..
i want to offer my soul to the darkness..

i want to smile..
i want to cry..

i want to hold your hand and fly..
i want to crush you so you cant fly..

i want to tell you my darkest fears..
i want to lock them in my heart and let no one know..

i want to smile and tell its all okay..
i want to cry and tell you how i really feel..

i want to kill you..
i want to hold you..

i want you to be happy...
i want you to suffer as much as i am..

i want to feel..
i want to think..

i want to be as heartless as i can be..
i want to be the warmth everyone would seek

i think..in the end..i just want someone to be with me THERE..
where no one has ever went in..
to understand every single thing about
and like me because of who i am..
but thats hard for me...
cause i dont want to get hurt anymore..

..
im an idiot..i know..
im looking forward to everyday..somehow..
i'll be fine..
so dont worry

2010-05-04T00:31:00.002+08:00

sigh..i got most of the situation..
i understand and im happy and sad.
happy that you found someone..
sad that you are in a shit hole.

prolly right now i cant do much..i can only support you from the back
but..like i told..there's not right or wrong..
so i just hope that maybe soon...everything would be fine...
and we'll all be happy again

2010-05-02T01:10:00.001+08:00

if you wanna be with me...baby there's a price to pay..

2010-04-29T23:29:00.002+08:00

見えないかべの　向こう側に待っている君がいたんだもうすぐに届くから　
I believe　ひとつの世界へ~!!
[On the other side of the invisible wall you’re waiting for meI’ll arrive soon,
I believe to my one world, ]

god love this one piece opening..Share the world..=w=
its a nice happy song..
sigh i wouldnt mind living in the world of one piece..so fun..though dangerous definitely!

あの大空に　届くまで何度でも僕は行くんだ今こそ超えてゆこう
I believe　ひとつの明日へ　　
[No matter how many times, I’ll continue to reach for that big sky I hear the echo of
“I believe in that one tomorrow",]
....

i wanna disappear..
i wanna go some place i can clear my head, body and soul....
if i could...i would ...really disappear..
and go some place to rest the battered soul of mine...

but responsibility, logic, life, school, family..friends..
everything..my life is not something i can just leave, drop it and go somewhere..

right now..i have this..i wanna get out of this place feeling..
i dont know how to properly describe the feeling..
sigh...

its like..i wanna lie down somewhere..and just close my eyes..
and rest...

i cant provide the usual warmth..
i cant give you happiness..
i cant do anything..
i can only..smile..

at least i think...i can

2010-04-28T20:59:00.002+08:00

i was crossing the traffic light road by my house today..and somehow...things seem to slow down a bit..
and there i stood...
wondering..
is anyone there...

dont ask me what relation there is to that of me standing at the crossing..i have no idea..

im having this alone feeling suddenly..
like there is the aura of loneliness surrounding me...
though im practically talking to people everyday..it seems as though they are not the "water" im looking for to "quench my thirst"

i dont mean to appear MEAN..
it just that i think like..we are just talking..at the surface level..like just talking friends..

not close friends that understand you..
you know?..
argh.. nevermind..

a friend told me he love the rain..
i always smile and nod..but say nothing

its not that i dont share his views..
i did loved the rain..
when you have friends playing in the rain with you..its the best.
but when they disappear one by one, and all that is left is you standing in the rain..looking like an idiot..
it just sucks..
....

i dont know...im thinking...alot lately..
about myself..
about people around me..
about my life..
im starting to let it go now...

like last time..it gonna hurt definitely
but its gonna go.

AND I REALISED SOMETHING..OMGG...
FRESHIES WEAR LIKE MORE MATURE THAN ME..
TnT
and i bought like this 2 shirts [WHAHA I WENT SHOPPING..SHOCKED EH EH EH?!]
and mum think its childish..
shit..

TnT..i need to look my age man...
or i wont get a boyfriend..ahhhhhh~~
ahaha nah..i dont really get about getting one..

XP

2010-04-27T23:23:00.002+08:00

now taking public speaking for CDS..
its not something i wanted but i have to make do with it i guess..

its relatively easy [for now]
but its stressful in a sense i have to do presentation almost every single day..
and that sucks..cause i hate talking to crowds of strangers..sigh

i realise my life is passing by rather quickly...god..
im afraid that if i play around, poly would be over before you know it.
and you move on to adulthood [like seriously]
you have to work..you have to figure whatcha wanna do from there.

i know parents/teachers will tell you to plan ya future early..because if you fail to plan , you plan to fail...an old line i believe.
but how true it is and not it is.

i mean yes you can have plans..but you never know if you can follow them.
like for me i wanna be an animator..but in singapore thats not something really successful now..like its not yet in it highest peak..and its easier to do something like that in JAPAN or KOREA..maybe america...but for anime, im going for Japan...

but you need MONEY!
its the bloody most important thing on EARTH i believe..
if you have no money you cant feed your loved family..-.-''
if you have no money you cant feed yourself..
if you have no money you CANT DO SHIT

thats de sad truth people.

hence i was thinking of working for 3 years..to earn some money and! wait for some friends of mine who went in to NS [XP] and are having the same dream as me..
go japan make it big~!!

more people go..i think i'll feel more safe PLUS..can save MONEY~! wahhaha

but yeah..like i said...who know what might happen...i may marry some RICH guy [wahaha that is a nice thought~]
or like i go be something else....like a chef... :3 that i dont mind..

well i still have 1 more year...i shall work hard for this and that..
XD i hope there are some nice gods that can bless me in my studies, love life and...ME
basically i guess..=w=

2010-04-18T20:04:00.002+08:00

sigh...had a nice chalet with my dear friends from sec sch...LOVE THEM...lols fucking full of shit...but i still love them..XD

had a nice talk with tannie..haha stupid bitch at times..but a wonderful friend..xD

but knn that fucking psyco woman wont let us sleep when its at night..KEEP DOING HER PSYCHO TALK..sheesh..-.-'''
wanted to punch her..

gary also..irritating bastard..keep doing "HEY ORANGE"
GOD...-.-''

food was nice..XD
thanks gwen for both type of chicken wing...really love em'
and honey for planning everything..thanks..XD

i wanna go out play..

2010-04-11T11:10:00.002+08:00

back from campz..
omg so shag..is tired...
ahha but camp was fun..
many cute freshies..
[ec ec ec ec~]
haha

some sad parts here and there~
emotional times at the end of the camp.
seeing our year 3 seniors graduate..
TnT
will miss em'

ok..like i miss moi friends too...
we need to go out soon..before i die from camp overload
NEXT WEEK HAVE CAMP TOO..OMG
GG BALLS

2010-04-07T00:46:00.002+08:00

手心。。冷冷的。。
我只能看着你离开。。
着能伤心的默默哭着。。
没有约定。。没有机会说不。。
你突然走进我心里。。
让我感觉到不同的感情。。
却在我相信你的时候。。
当我第一次。。对别人。。伸出手时。。
离我而去。。
让我一个人傻傻的站在那里。。

但我也不怪你。。。
只能怪天。。让我爱上不能爱的你。。
却没让。。能爱我的你。。爱上我

2010-04-04T23:56:00.003+08:00

will be gone for like 6 days..[went for Freshman Orientation Camp/Workshop].
will miss my bed
will miss pizza and nice food
will miss bathing leisurely
will miss watching anime
will miss slacking
will miss mai friends
will miss you. <33

tired.tired.but..it'll be fun i guess

lols
..god..i hope i survive..AHHA
see you all

2010-04-02T01:06:00.001+08:00

everything is fine now..lols..

for now..

2010-03-25T00:13:00.004+08:00

sigh..
so many things have happened recently..
god..it feels like the calm before the storm..LOLS

it sucks when you cant convey your feelings to others.
it sucks when you realised, in the end you are standing alone.
it sucks when you wonder why you couldnt do it and others could.
it sucks when you see the truth but it hurts so you deny yourself and said " its ok".
it sucks when you know, to be honest, you tried your best but others think otherwise.
it sucks when you found out that the warmth you thought you felt and you had, dont belong to you.
it sucks when the only thing you can/could do is, pretend to smile and let the blade penetrate your heart..till the bleeding stop.

i don't know what to do anymore.
sigh..
i guess thats the way things are..you can help others but somehow you never fail to let yourself fall.
the tears wont stop until the pain in my heart does.
the pain wont stop until the feelings in my heart does.
the feeling wont stop until i stop following him around.

so i guess...thats the only way to stop it.
...

i wish things would go back the way they were before..
or maybe..i should just disappear.

2010-03-24T00:28:00.001+08:00

想告诉你。。

我喜欢你。。

笨蛋

2010-03-21T23:45:00.002+08:00

搞笑。。
tan ni ni told me about this song..damn nice..lols

那一條牙膏在對我傻笑
嘲笑我永遠用不掉
想睡就睡想鬧就鬧
好快樂少了人嘮叨
我想我的心情是这样。。

藍色的碗盤多買了一套
我忘了沒有人陪我通宵
要多少替代的丑角無辜的陪笑
才會讓我能真的忘了你的好
我和你还能走到多远。。

我在搞笑藉著熱鬧掩蓋著心跳
邊哭邊笑偏要說著一個人真好
當人群散了突然覺得我可以死掉
我受不了
還在搞笑害怕回家不知怎麼熬
這麼多年早就習慣有妳的撒嬌
我想我能熬但是至少要讓我知道
妳好不好
能让你笑。。一直都不是我

我們的小狗食量變好小
眼神裡常常顯的無聊
他習慣睡覺的床位少了一雙腳
所以他常常看著門口睡不著
所以。。我该放开了。。

我在搞笑藉著熱鬧掩蓋著心跳
邊哭邊笑偏要說著一個人真好
當人群散了突然覺得我可以死掉
我受不了
我在搞笑卻在最後眼淚拼命掉
妳的離開失去多少我計算不了
忙完了一天　突然覺得又何必辛勞
對誰炫耀
還在搞笑是否擁有麻痺的療效
唱一夜歌卻避不開催淚的曲調
我徹夜胡鬧希望聽到有人會提到你好不好
即使会痛。。

2010-03-21T22:54:00.002+08:00

i know the things i have said to you..
you might feel irrtated
you might feel annoyed.
you might feel angry.
you might feel hurt.

but thats what im feeling..i thought i could told you what i think..since you keep saying we shouldnt hide things from each other..sigh..if i know things would be like this..i should have jsut keep my mouth shut..

but you just make me realise the situation im in..
im sorry you felt disappointed..
im sorry you felt annoyed..

我不知道我还能对你说什么。。
我想我只能安静的离开。。
会痛。。因为我是一个人。。
我也有心。。能笑能哭。。
我想。。

可能，能带给你笑容的。。

不是我

2010-03-21T02:01:00.003+08:00

happy birthday to my ni san!..that OLD MAN IS 18 LIAOS~

hahaha..well we [miner/abi/me/mong/zhao han] bluff gary that we not going his hse to drink and play..and we APPEARED AT 12 AM..AND CELEBRATED HIS BITHDAY..that stubborn mule was saying he dont need one..
argh..old ass

hahaha...and we play KING drinking game..lols..or like some other ppl call it the china men game..i have no idea why but yea...-.-''
ITS all fun and all but still

jesus its a fucking DRINKING GAME..NOT DRUNKING GAME..get the difference..we play to have drinks BUT..not drunk...OBVIOUSLY THE DRINKS WILL BE MILD..dont be fucking selfish and think about yourselves..
its for other ppl to share..not just YOU [s] DRINKING.
god..dont think you birthday boy i wont get mad..
but nah im going to get mad at you..

AND..
DAMN IT?! ITS A GAME!
-.- be more sporty..sheesh..dont like think we are trying to BULLY ANYONE..oh please..its for fun la..and like ah forget..pisses me off when i talk about it..

anyway...it was fun yeah.definitely..

2010-03-09T00:55:00.003+08:00

ok..i have not cut my hair yet...puh..i hope i can cut it soon~

but anyways..lotsa things happen during this month..god knows why..
sigh.
i hope i can finish my p1 asasp...find work earn money
get foc/foc/doc over and done with

haiz

我希望你能快乐。。
虽然我能做的就这有那么“多“。。
我只能跟你说。。
只要你需要我。。
我就会来帮你。。
我就会再那里陪你

2010-02-28T23:29:00.001+08:00

OHOHOH..IMA CUT MY HAIR TMR..
finish..XD